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The pie chart reveals the information of spending money on different categories by citizens of two countries:UK and New Zealand between 1980and 2008.

The pie chart reveals the information of spending money on different categories by citizens of two countries: UK and New Zealand between 1980and 2008. 8danr
Overall, In 2008, the figure of UK people were inclined in leisure category as compared to 1980, whereas in New Zealand, households invest more money on food and drinks in 1980, however the proportion of people who spend money on transport was least in 2008. In UK, the percentage of households spend amount on food and drinks was 23%in 1980, while it was declined with the proportion of 13%in 2008. In 1980, 26% citizens involve their money on utility bills. In 2008, the figure of UK citizens who spend lavish money on utility bills was increased with 28% throughout the given period. Moreover, transport facility was least prefered by households with 15% in 1980, whilst the percentage of people expenditure in this category was dropped by 11%. People invest more money on leisure activity with 34%in 2003 instead of 1980. In addition, the figure of households was also increased in others category with 2% by 2008. In New Zealand, 3% households people was spend money on utility bills in the year 2008, whereas in pervious year(1980), the proportion of thesecategory was 27%. Moreover, in 1980, public invest amount on others activity was 9%, however the category of transport and free time activity was declined with 1%in 2008. Furthermore, in 1980, the percentage of people spending money was 29%in the category of food and drinks, whereas it was dropped by 4%in 2008.
Overall
, In 2008, the figure of UK
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people
were inclined
in leisure
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category
as compared to 1980, whereas in New Zealand,
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households
invest more
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money
on food and drinks in 1980,
however
the proportion of
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people
who
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spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on transport was least in 2008. In UK, the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
households
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
amount on food and drinks was 23%in 1980, while it
was declined
with the proportion of 13%in 2008. In 1980, 26% citizens involve their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on utility bills.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
2008, the figure of UK citizens who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
lavish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on utility bills
was increased
with 28% throughout the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period.
Moreover
, transport facility was least
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "preferred", the past tense form of the verb 'prefer'?
prefered
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
households
with 15% in 1980, whilst the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
expenditure in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
category
was dropped
by 11%.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
invest more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on leisure activity with 34%in 2003
instead
of 1980.
In addition
, the figure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
households
was
also
increased in others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
category
with 2% by 2008. In New Zealand, 3%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
households
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on utility bills in the year 2008, whereas in
Possible spelling mistake found.
pervious
year(1980), the proportion of
Possible spelling mistake found.
thesecategory
was 27%.
Moreover
, in 1980, public invest amount on
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "others'" or "other's"?
others
activity was 9%,
however
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
category
of transport and free time activity
was declined
with 1%in 2008.
Furthermore
, in 1980, the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
was 29%in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
category
of food and drinks, whereas it
was dropped
by 4%in 2008.
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IELTS academic The pie chart reveals the information of spending money on different categories by citizens of two countries: UK and New Zealand between 1980and 2008.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
231 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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