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The pie chart illustrates the average middle income families was spent their household budget in 2012 and 2015.

The pie chart illustrates the average middle income families was spent their household budget in 2012 and 2015. K0bd0
Overall, there are significant changes can be seen in both years. Household budget was evenly distributed in 2012. While majority of the budget consisted on housing which was spent half of the budget on it. In 2012, over the 35 percent of the budget was spent on housing. however, 25 percent was spent on vacations and food. Only 15 percent was spent on miscellaneous from the budget. Moreover, in years later, half of the budget was used on housing. 35 percent on food which was marginally increased. whereas only 10 percent was decided for vacation from budget and 5 percent for miscellaneous from the budget of the average middle income families. From the whole, budget rose in 2015 for housing and for food.
Overall
, there are significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in both years. Household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
was
evenly
distributed in 2012.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
consisted on housing which was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
half of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
on it.

In 2012, over the 35
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on housing.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
however
, 25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on vacations and food.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
15
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on miscellaneous from the budget.

Moreover
, in years later, half of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
on housing. 35
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
on food which was
marginally
increased.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
whereas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
was decided
for vacation from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
and 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
for miscellaneous from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
of the average middle income families.

From the whole,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
rose in 2015 for housing and for food.

IELTS academic The pie chart illustrates the average middle income families was spent their household budget in 2012 and 2015.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
123 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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