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The first chart shows energy production and second shows greenhouse gas emissions in an australian household.

The first chart shows energy production and second shows greenhouse gas emissions in an australian household. EL2YL
The provided pie-charts illustrate the pattern of energy consumption in an Australian household and the resultant greenhouse gas emissions. It can be inferred easily that heating occupies the lion share of the percentage, both in terms of energy usage and emission. The first pie-chart shows that heating itself occupies nearly half of the stakes in energy consumption of an Australian home. Adding to it, water heating comprises of another 30% which if summed up account for three-fourth shares in total. Most other appliances cumulatively account for 15% energy consumption. Next, refrigeration contributes 7% and cooling requires the minimum energy out of all other activities at 2%. The next pie-chart reflects a similar pattern on the greenhouse gas emission by an Australian household, where heating and water heating together are responsible for around half of the emissions. Other appliances release 28%, refrigeration 7%, and the least amount is contributed by cooling at 3%. Overall, both the pie-charts have congruent shares in the usage and emission pattern. It is important to understand that just by decreasing the requirements of heating, Australians can significantly decrease the emission of greenhouse gases which is deleteriously affecting the climate globally.
The provided pie-charts illustrate the pattern of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
consumption in an Australian household and the resultant greenhouse gas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emissions
. It can
be inferred
easily
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
occupies the lion share of the percentage, both in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
usage and emission.

The
first
pie-chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
itself occupies
nearly
half of the stakes in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
consumption of an Australian home. Adding to it, water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
Did you mean "comprises" or "consists of"?
comprises of
another 30% which
Did you mean "is"?
if
summed up account for three-fourth shares in total. Most other appliances
cumulatively
account for 15%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
consumption.
Next
, refrigeration contributes 7% and cooling requires the minimum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
out of all other activities at 2%.

The
next
pie-chart reflects a similar pattern on the greenhouse gas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emission
by an Australian household, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
and water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
together are responsible for around half of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emissions
. Other appliances release 28%, refrigeration 7%, and the least amount
is contributed
by cooling at 3%.

Overall
, both the pie-charts have congruent shares in the usage and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emission
pattern. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to understand that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by decreasing the requirements of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
, Australians can
significantly
decrease the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emission
of greenhouse gases which is
Possible spelling mistake found.
deleteriously
affecting the climate globally.
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IELTS academic The first chart shows energy production and second shows greenhouse gas emissions in an australian household.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
194 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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