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How London commuters go to work

How London commuters go to work N85dd
The line chart indicates the way of population going to their working place with proportions over a period of five years in London. Overall, the two means of transport experienced significant changes which are car and subway. So, car commuters rate was about 41 per cent in 1970, and it steady increased to 48 per cent in 1990. Yet, it felt slowly in the last year of line to 34% in 2010. Compare to the cars using subway dropped in 1990 per cent and rose in 2010, 27% and 36% respectively. In addition, riding bus faced to almost stable shift, and then in 1970 it was 22% and decreased to five percent during the next five decades. Moreover, the line which is shown in red colour illustrates people who rode bus. Similarly with bus users it declined in 1990, but the line was nearly unchangeable between the next 20 years. By contrast, people who went on their own and cycling commuters was in the same rate at the beginning of the diagram, about 2 percent, but then after fifty years it changed. It means, going to work by bicycle grew to eight per cent when on foot was only for four percent less than by bicycle.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
chart indicates the way of population going to their working place with proportions over a period of five years in London.

Overall
, the two means of transport experienced significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
which are car and subway.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, car commuters rate was about 41 per cent in 1970, and it
Did you mean "steadies"?
steady
increased to 48 per cent in 1990.
Yet
, it felt
slowly
in the last year of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
to 34% in 2010. Compare to the cars using subway dropped in 1990 per cent and rose in 2010, 27% and 36%
respectively
.

In addition
, riding bus faced to almost stable shift, and then in 1970 it was 22% and decreased to five percent during the
next
five decades.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
which
is shown
in red
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
illustrates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who rode bus.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Similarly
with bus users it declined in 1990,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
was
nearly
unchangeable between the
next
20 years.

By contrast,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who went on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
and cycling commuters was in the same rate at the beginning of the diagram, about 2 percent,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
then after fifty years it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
. It means, going to work by bicycle grew to eight per cent when on foot was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for four percent less than by bicycle.
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IELTS academic How London commuters go to work

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
206 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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