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The pie chart illustrates the amount of money spent on different kinds of goods and services in Japan and Malaysia.

The pie chart illustrates the amount of money spent on different kinds of goods and services in Japan and Malaysia. leVpo
The pie chart illustrates the amount of money spent on different kinds of goods and services in Japan and Malaysia. The most noticeable part of the graph is that fond is mostly used for housing and food, in contrast, health care is the least paid one in both countries. 29% of Japanese people’s budget is consumed on other goods and services, which is almost slightly more than the amount of money used for the same purposes in Malaysia (26%). Housing is the most popular choice among others for Malaysian people, with the percentage equal to 34%, while in Japan, it takes third place at 21%. The expenditure on food is almost the same in Japan and Malaysia, with the difference of 3%, 24% and 27% respectively. The citizens of both countries spend the least amount of money on health care, 6% in Japan which is twice as much as the per cent in Malaysia. The usage of money on transport is equal to 10% for Malaysian people, which is twice as less as the percentage of Japanese people.
The pie chart illustrates the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
spent on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
and Malaysia. The most noticeable part of the graph is that fond is
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for housing and food,
in contrast
, health care is the least paid one in both countries.

29% of Japanese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
budget
is consumed
on other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services, which is almost
slightly
more than the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the same purposes in Malaysia (26%). Housing is the most popular choice among others for Malaysian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, with the percentage equal to 34%, while in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
, it takes third place at 21%. The expenditure on food is almost the same in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
and Malaysia, with the difference of 3%, 24% and 27%
respectively
.

The citizens of both countries spend the least amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on health care, 6% in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
which is twice as much as the per cent in Malaysia.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on transport is equal to 10% for Malaysian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, which is twice as
Did you mean "less", "little"?
less
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
the percentage of Japanese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS academic The pie chart illustrates the amount of money spent on different kinds of goods and services in Japan and Malaysia.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
178 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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