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Pie charts depict the changes in annual spending in UK school

Pie charts depict the changes in annual spending in UK school 3ARKX
The provided circular representatives depict the information about the changes in yearly lavishing by a specific England school in different years. As an overview, it is noticeable that, the school was investing the highest proportion of money on teachers' salaries and lowest ratio of money spent on insurance in the given period of time. Looking into details, the education institute expend biggest proportion of remuneration on mentors 's wages. It was recorded at 40% in 1981. After the one decade, it was 10% increased however in the subsequent decade it was reduced by five percent and recorded at forty five percent. As followed by other worker's payments which was registered at 28% in the initial period of time. After that, it gradually decreased with 22% and 15% in 1991 and 2001 respectively. Glancing ahead, the school was disbursed immensely minimal amount on insurance. It was registered at 2% in the starting of given period. In 1991, it was moderately climb up whereas in the next decade it was climb up with 5% and reached at 8%. The school was spent common percentage of remuneration on books and other facilities which was calculated at fifteen percent in 1981. After that it was rise up by five percent however in 2001 it significantly deduced and settled at 9%. The spending on furniture and equipment was not popular in initial period of time but after a period of time it decreased with 10%. In the subsequence decades it dramatically rised and stood at 23%.
The provided circular representatives depict the information about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in yearly lavishing by a specific England
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school
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
years. As an overview, it is noticeable that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
was investing the highest proportion of money on teachers' salaries and lowest ratio of money spent on insurance in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
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period
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Looking into
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details
, the education institute expend
A determiner is probably missing here: "the biggest".
biggest
proportion of remuneration on
Did you mean "mentor's" or "mentors'"?
mentors 's
wages. It
was recorded
at 40% in 1981. After the one decade, it was 10% increased
however
in the subsequent decade it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
by five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
and recorded at
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
forty five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
followed by other worker's payments which
was registered
at 28% in the initial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. After that, it
gradually
decreased with 22% and 15% in 1991 and 2001
respectively
. Glancing ahead, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
was disbursed
immensely
minimal amount on insurance. It
was registered
at 2% in the starting of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
. In 1991, it was
moderately
Consider using a past participle here: "climbed".
climb
up whereas in the
next
decade it was
Consider using a past participle here: "climbed".
climb
up with 5% and reached at 8%. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
was spent
common percentage of remuneration on books and other facilities which
was calculated
at fifteen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in 1981. After that it was
Consider using a past participle here: "risen".
rise
up by five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
however
in 2001 it
significantly
deduced and settled at 9%. The spending on furniture and equipment was not popular in initial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
it decreased with 10%. In the subsequence decades it
dramatically
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "rose", the past tense form of the verb 'rise'?
rised
and stood at 23%.
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IELTS academic Pie charts depict the changes in annual spending in UK school

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
251 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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