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The pie chart illustrates on the electricity production from different sources of fuel in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000.

The pie chart illustrates on the electricity production from different sources of fuel in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. xQWg
According to the pie chart in Australia there were 20 units and 10 units of electricity produced by natural gas and oil however in 2000 the demand for these sources decreased by 18 and 8 units. moreover there was a slight rise in hydropower in 2000. On the other hand in France oil, natural gas and coal were the main source of electricity but over the years the use of nuclear power rapidly increased by 111 units. while hydropower’s remained stable throughout the years. Overall coal was the main source of electricity production in Australia in both the years while nuclear power is used more in France in recent years.
According to the pie chart in Australia there were 20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
and 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
of electricity produced by natural gas and oil
however
in 2000 the demand for these sources decreased by 18 and 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
moreover
there was a slight rise in hydropower in 2000.

On the other hand
in France oil, natural gas and coal were the main source of electricity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
over the years the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of nuclear power
rapidly
increased by 111
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
while
Consider using the plural form here: "hydropowers".
hydropower’s
remained stable throughout the years.

Overall
coal was the main source of electricity production in Australia in both the years while nuclear power is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
more in France in recent years.
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IELTS academic The pie chart illustrates on the electricity production from different sources of fuel in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
110 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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