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the pie chart gives information of average expenditure of one person in one country in 2005

the pie chart gives information of average expenditure of one person in one country in 2005 2KDRX
The pie chart given illustrates what one person in one country spent their money on in 2005. It is clear that the expenditure on accommodation was responsible for the largest proportion, while the figure for spending money on other was undoubtedly the smallest. The largest percentage, 30. 31%, spending money on accommodation, whereas it was only 9. 10% on other. In comparison to accommodation expenditure, the proportion of food expenditure was nearly the same as that of accommodation, with 30. 31%. The percentage of expense was spent on education was 19. 55% and it was dramatically higher than the money spent on entertainment purpose which was 10. 10%.
The pie chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
illustrates what one person in one country spent their
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money
on in 2005.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the expenditure on
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accommodation
was responsible for the largest proportion, while the figure for spending
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money
on other was
undoubtedly
the smallest.

The largest percentage, 30. 31%, spending
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money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accommodation
, whereas it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
9. 10% on other.
In comparison
to
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accommodation
expenditure, the proportion of food expenditure was
nearly
the same as that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accommodation
, with 30. 31%. The percentage of expense
was spent
on education was 19. 55% and it was
dramatically
higher than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
spent on entertainment purpose which was 10. 10%.
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IELTS academic the pie chart gives information of average expenditure of one person in one country in 2005

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
108 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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