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The pie chart gives information about Percentage of nutrients intake by the average person in the USA during meals and snacks.

The pie chart gives information about Percentage of nutrients intake by the average person in the USA during meals and snacks. q6gY5
A glance at charts reveals the data about proportion of nutrients consumed by the average person in America during breakfast, dinner, lunch and snacks. It is apparent that consumption of sodium (43%) and saturated fat (37%) is higher while having dinner. However, 23% of added sugar is consumed during dinner. The amount of added sugar in snacks is just about two fifth which is double than saturated fat. Whereas sodium ingestion is 50% of saturated fat. Average person eats 14% sodium at the time of breakfast. Moreover, intake of saturated fat and sugar is equal (16%). The percentage of sodium and fat intake during lunch is merely equal 29% and 26% respectively. As compared with others, sugar has less ingestion while having lunch. Overall, it can be analyzed that amount of saturated fat and sodium is consumed higher. In contrast, added sugar intake is more while eating snacks.
A glance at charts reveals the data about proportion of nutrients consumed by the average person in America during breakfast, dinner, lunch and snacks.

It is apparent that consumption of sodium (43%) and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
(37%) is higher while having dinner.
However
, 23% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
is consumed
during dinner. The amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
in snacks is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
about two fifth which is
Use "doubler" to make a comparison with this adjective.
double
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
sodium ingestion is 50% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
.

Average person eats 14% sodium at the time of breakfast.
Moreover
, intake of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
is equal (16%). The percentage of sodium and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
intake during lunch is
merely
equal 29% and 26%
respectively
. As compared with others,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
has less ingestion while having lunch.

Overall
, it can
be analyzed
that amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
and sodium
is consumed
higher.
In contrast
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
intake is more while eating snacks.
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IELTS academic The pie chart gives information about Percentage of nutrients intake by the average person in the USA during meals and snacks.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
148 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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