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graph of household electrical appliances

graph of household electrical appliances J0Bd5
The graph illustrates the number of electrical appliances used in household over a century. Overall trend of images utilising of washing machines, refrigerator and vacuum cleaner has increased by huge amounts in span of 100 years. In 1920 the lifestyle shows washing machine and vacuum cleaner has far more popularity than refrigerator. During 1940 all the appliance showed similar popularity in household. But over the course of time refrigerator has managed the gain its importance in household over the other two which is clearly reflected at 1960. Refrigerator is marked to be one the most important household electrical appliance as by 1980 every household was equipped with it. Though not remaining behind was vacuum cleaner which achieved the same feet as former by 2000. Washing machine initially had the largest share but did not show appreciable growth for being fitted in household. Overall there has always been increase use of electrical appliances in household except only the decline in use of washing machine for year 1980.
The graph illustrates the number of electrical
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appliances
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used
in
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household
over a century.
Overall
trend of images
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilising' is British English.
utilising
of washing
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machines
,
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refrigerator
and vacuum cleaner has increased by huge amounts in span of 100 years.

In 1920 the lifestyle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
washing
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machine
and vacuum cleaner has far more popularity than
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refrigerator
. During 1940 all the
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appliance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
similar popularity in
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household
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
over the course of time
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refrigerator
has managed the gain its importance in
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household
over the other two which is
clearly
reflected at 1960.
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Refrigerator
is marked
to be
Did you mean "one of"?
one
the most
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important
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household
electrical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appliance
as by 1980 every
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household
was equipped
with it. Though not remaining behind was vacuum cleaner which achieved the same feet as former by 2000. Washing
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machine
initially
had the largest share
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
appreciable growth for
being fitted
in household.

Overall
there has always been increase
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of electrical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appliances
in
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household
except
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the decline in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of washing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
for year 1980.
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IELTS academic graph of household electrical appliances

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
166 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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