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The pie chart depicts the comparison of online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013.

The pie chart depicts the comparison of online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. GxDm
The pie chart depicts the comparison of online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. It can be noticed from the chart that there are lot of changes are made. Initially, the online sale for books in 2003 was about 19% and it rose to 22% in 2013. People who love to travel was decreased by 5% of overall weightage. In 2003 it was 36% and in 2013 it fell to 29%. Interest in films/music was increased to 33% in 2013, which was 21% in 2003. In contrast, the sales for clothing was 24% in 2003 and it reduced to 16% in 2013.
The pie chart depicts the comparison of online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. It can
be noticed
from the chart that there are lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
are made
.
Initially
, the online sale for books in 2003 was about 19% and it rose to 22% in 2013.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to travel
was decreased
by 5% of
overall
weightage. In
The comma is probably missing here: "2003, it".
2003 it
was 36% and in 2013 it fell to 29%. Interest in films/music
was increased
to 33% in 2013, which was 21% in 2003.
In contrast
, the sales for clothing was 24% in 2003 and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
to 16% in 2013.
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IELTS academic The pie chart depicts the comparison of online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
108 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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