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The charts below show the percentage of people working in different sectors in town A and town B in 1960, 2010.

The charts below show the percentage of people working in different sectors in town A and town B in 1960, 2010. jaqN
The given charts compare the distribution of employment in three different sectors in town A and town B in 1960, 2010. Overall, the greatest increase was seen in manufacturing workers in town A. Also, in town B, this sector overtook completely two others. In 1960, the number of those working in manufacturing in both towns occupied the largest proportion, at 41% and 70% respectively. It can be seen in town A, salers accouting for 30% was almost equivalent with services-related workers-29%. With terms of town B, the percentage of people working in sales standing at 20%, doubled than that in services. In 2010, the noticeable growth in services was witnessed in both town, especially that town A increased significantly to 64%, surpassed the others sectors while a quarter of people participated in services in town B. Following by the percentage of people in manuafacturing, it took up 20% in town A and 53% in town B. Finally, the number of salers in town A and B comprised at 16% and 22% respectively.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
charts compare the distribution of employment in three
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different
sectors in
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town
A and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
B in 1960, 2010.

Overall
, the greatest increase was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in manufacturing workers in
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town
A.
Also
, in
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town
B, this sector overtook completely two others.

In 1960, the number of those working in manufacturing in both
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towns
occupied the largest proportion, at 41% and 70%
respectively
. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
A,
Possible spelling mistake found.
salers
Possible spelling mistake found.
accouting
for 30% was almost equivalent with services-related workers-29%. With terms of
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town
B, the percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
working in sales standing at 20%,
Use "doubler" to make a comparison with this adjective.
doubled
than that in services.

In 2010, the noticeable growth in services
was witnessed
in both
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town
,
especially
that
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town
A increased
significantly
to 64%, surpassed the others sectors while a quarter of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
participated in services in
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town
B. Following by the percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
manuafacturing
, it took up 20% in
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town
A and 53% in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
B.
Finally
, the number of
Possible spelling mistake found.
salers
in
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town
A and B comprised at 16% and 22%
respectively
.
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IELTS academic The charts below show the percentage of people working in different sectors in town A and town B in 1960, 2010.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
172 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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