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The pie chart below shows a family's spending pattern in the United states for the year 2009.

The pie chart below shows a family's spending pattern in the United states for the year 2009. xwyN
The provided pie chart illustrates the expenditure style of one particular family of the United States of America in 2009. Overall, the large part of spending of a family of USA in 2009 was on house expenses and food as well as medical expenses. However, other areas like education, transportation; was covered by the small amount of it. To begin with, the biggest outlay went on housing costs which was 26% of total expenditure. Food and beverages ised 22% of total annual expense which was lower than housing cost. It was the second highest spending for the family in 2009. Furthermore, 8% of total yearly expenditure spent on recreational activities. Moreover, medical expenses of the family was 19% in 2009 which quite higher than recreation cost. But, it slight lower than food and beverages. In addition, cost of education and communication was significant lower than housing, food, beverages and medical; which was 6%. Additionally, 7% of total spending went on apparel. Other costs of family were similar to recreational expenses. In contrast, least proportion of annual spending was consisted by transportation which was 4%.
The provided pie chart illustrates the expenditure style of one particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
of the United States of America in 2009.

Overall
, the large part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
A determiner is probably missing here: "of the USA".
of USA
in 2009 was on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
expenses and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
as well
as medical expenses.
However
, other areas like education, transportation;
was covered
by the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amount of it.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the biggest outlay went on housing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
which was 26% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
expenditure.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Food
and beverages
Possible spelling mistake found.
ised
22% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
annual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expense
which was lower than housing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
. It was the second highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
in 2009.
Furthermore
, 8% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
yearly expenditure spent on recreational activities.

Moreover
, medical expenses of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
was 19% in 2009 which quite higher than recreation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, it
Did you mean "slights"?
slight
lower than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and beverages.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
of education and communication was significant lower than housing,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, beverages and medical; which was 6%.
Additionally
, 7% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
went on apparel. Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
were similar to recreational expenses.
In contrast
,
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
proportion of annual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
was consisted
by transportation which was 4%.
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IELTS academic The pie chart below shows a family's spending pattern in the United states for the year 2009.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
184 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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