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The pie chart below illustrates the different types of smartphones used by attorneys in the U.S. in one year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant Write at least 150 words.

The pie chart below illustrates the different types of smartphones used by attorneys in the U. S. in one year. OMl5M
The pie chart below illustrates the different types of smartphones used by attorneys in the U. S. in one year. The pie chart shows about five different kinds of smartphones used by the people in attorney in the country of United states per annum. The data has been calibrated in percentage. Overall, It is immediately apparent that iPhone has the major dominant trend in a year. While Android, Blackberry, Windows, and others smartphones are the least with less amount of users per annum. To begin with, the sales of iPhone was rose to 62% when compared with other mobile phones a total of remaining consisting of 37%. The second highest is made up of android phones with a fifth of their sales per annum when compared to iPhone with 62%. However, the remaining percentage was made by the blackberry, windows and none with less than one in ten with 5%, 3%, and 10% respectively. While on the whole the sales of windows are less by 3% when compared to sales of blackberry.
The pie chart below illustrates the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of smartphones
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by attorneys in the U. S. in one year.

The pie chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
about five
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of smartphones
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in attorney in the country of
The proper noun "United States" needs to be capitalized.
United states
per annum.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
data has
been calibrated
in percentage.

Overall
, It is immediately apparent that iPhone has the major dominant trend in a year. While Android, Blackberry, Windows,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
smartphones are the least with less amount of users per annum.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of iPhone was rose to 62% when compared with other mobile phones a total of remaining consisting of 37%. The second highest
is made
up of android phones with a fifth of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
per annum when compared to iPhone with 62%.

However
, the remaining percentage
was made
by the blackberry, windows and none with less than one in ten with 5%, 3%, and 10%
respectively
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
on the whole
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
windows


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
are
less by 3% when compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of blackberry.
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IELTS academic The pie chart below illustrates the different types of smartphones used by attorneys in the U. S. in one year.

Academic
  American English
6 paragraphs
172 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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