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The pie chart and tables give information about the value and source of fish imported to the US between 1998 and 2000

The rendered pie chart and tables illustrate the total amount and the fish imported in United States from China, Canada and others from 1988 to 2000. Overall, total value increased significantly, whereas the import of fish from Canada decreased, but the import of fish increased from China and others. Conspicuously, in 1988 the amount of fish imported from Canada was dramatically high which was 60%, moreover others accounts for 30% of total imported fish, conversely 13% of fish was imported from China in Britain, whereas the total value of fish in 1988 was 6. 57 billion dollars. Furthermore, the import of fish from Canada decreased steadily in 1922 by 14%, on the contrary the import of fishes by others increased moderately by 19%, like wisely in China the import of fish went down in 2000 which was 42% by others and 28% by Canada respectively. In contrast, the import of fish by China increased by 10%, meanwhile the total value of fish imported increased which was 8. 52 billion dollars in 1992 and 10. 27 billion dollars in 2000.
The rendered pie chart and tables illustrate the
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total
amount and the fish
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imported
A determiner is probably missing here: “in the United States”.
in United States
from China, Canada
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and others
from 1988 to 2000.
Overall
,
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total
value
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increased
significantly
, whereas the
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import
of fish from Canada decreased,
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but
the
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import
of fish
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increased
from China
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
.
Conspicuously
, in 1988 the amount of fish
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imported
from Canada was
dramatically
high which was 60%,
moreover
others accounts for 30% of
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total
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imported
fish,
conversely
13% of fish was
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imported
from China in Britain, whereas the
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total
value of fish in 1988 was 6. 57 billion dollars.
Furthermore
, the
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import
of fish from Canada decreased
steadily
in 1922 by 14%,
on the contrary
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
import
of fishes by others
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increased
moderately
by 19%, like
wisely
in China the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
import
of fish went down in 2000 which was 42% by others and 28% by Canada
respectively
.
In contrast
, the
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import
of fish by China
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
by 10%, meanwhile the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
value of fish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
which was 8. 52 billion dollars in 1992 and 10. 27 billion dollars in 2000.
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IELTS academic The pie chart and tables give information about the value and source of fish imported to the US between 1998 and 2000

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
179 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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