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The pie cart and table describe the details about jobs

The pie cart and table describe the details about jobs wBD2r
The pie chart elucidates different kinds of jobs Anthropology graduate received after their university and table illustrates their salary after 5 years of the job. At a cursory glance, half of the graduates got full-time jobs after the course and a majority of these people got salary more than 75000$ after 5 years of their employment. Regarding employment, while around 12% of degree holders did not get any work, there is no data for 8%. When full-time post graduation course were opted by 8%, only 5% of graduates found partime job along with post graduation course. However, a significant amount of the course holder got full- time jobs at 52 % Considering salary pattern, there were 3 types jobs could be seen namely, freelance consultants, government and private sector. The government sector provided a good salary of above $100000 for 50% workers, but only 30% of private employees got the same figure. In the second position Freelance workers with at 40%. The lowest salary, between $25000 and $49999, was given to 5% of both government and freelancer staff and 10% private employees.
The pie chart elucidates
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different
kinds of
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jobs
Anthropology graduate received after their university and table illustrates their
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salary
after 5 years of the job.

At a cursory glance, half of the graduates
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got
full-time
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jobs
after the
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course
and a majority of these
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
got
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
more than
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$75000".
75000$
after 5 years of their employment.

Regarding employment, while around 12% of degree holders did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
any work, there is no data for 8%. When full-time post graduation
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course
were opted
by 8%,
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only
5% of graduates found
Possible spelling mistake found.
partime
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job
along with post graduation
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course
.
However
, a significant amount of the
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course
holder
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got
full- time
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jobs
at 52 %

Considering
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salary
pattern, there were 3 types
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jobs
could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
namely
, freelance consultants,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and private sector. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
sector provided a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
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salary
of above $100000 for 50% workers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
30% of private employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
got
the same figure. In the second position Freelance workers with at 40%. The lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
, between $25000 and $49999, was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to 5% of both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and freelancer staff and 10% private employees.
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IELTS academic The pie cart and table describe the details about jobs

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
182 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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