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The bar graph above shows the percentage of employed who works part-time in the 4 countries of the UK between 1980 and 2010.

The bar graph above shows the percentage of employed who works part-time in the 4 countries of the UK between 1980 and 2010. E3ePL
The bar graph above shows the percentage of employed who works part-time in the 4 countries of the UK between 1980 and 2010. Overall, England, Scotland and Wales shows an increase in their percentage of part-time workers in 2010 compared to the previous percentage of 1980. In particular, the increase of Scotland and England was significant hight ( almost 8% avg) compared with the growth of this percentage in Wales ( around 3%). In contrast with the trend of these three nations Northern Ireland shows a reduction of 4 percentage points between the arc of time analysed in the graph above.
The bar graph above
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shows
the
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percentage
of employed who works part-time in the 4 countries of the UK between 1980 and 2010.

Overall
, England, Scotland and Wales
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shows
an increase in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of part-time workers in 2010 compared to the previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of 1980.
In particular
, the increase of Scotland and England was significant
Possible spelling mistake found.
hight
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
almost 8% avg) compared with the growth of this
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percentage
in Wales
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
around 3%).
In contrast
with the trend of these three nations Northern Ireland
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
a reduction of 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
points between the arc of time
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysed' is British English.
analysed
in the graph above.
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IELTS academic The bar graph above shows the percentage of employed who works part-time in the 4 countries of the UK between 1980 and 2010.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
101 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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