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The pie cahrts below shoe enrollment in diffrent fields of study at a particular university.

The pie cahrts below shoe enrollment in diffrent fields of study at a particular university. 7Jkqy
The pie graphs give information about the proportion of male and female students who enrolled in four various fields at Clydesdale University. The majority of men and women preferred different fields to study. Enrollment in different fields of study at Clydesdale University differed significantly between men and women who preferred to study therein. Among male students engineering was the most popular subject, with 45% of men chose this field, however, the least popular field was humanities, at only 10%. Social sciences had the second-highest figure, accounting for 25% of the male students. While nearly half of the men enrolled in engineering, around two-thirds of women preferred humanities and education, totally. Most of the women enrolled in education, comprising 35%. Less than a third of female preferred humanities which was the second most popular fields of study, on the other hand, social sciences had the least figure among all of them.
The pie graphs give information about the proportion of male and female students who enrolled in four various
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fields
at Clydesdale University. The majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
preferred
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
to study.

Enrollment in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
of study at Clydesdale University differed
significantly
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
preferred
to study therein. Among male students engineering was the most popular subject, with 45% of
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men
chose this
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field
,
however
, the least popular
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field
was humanities, at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10%. Social sciences had the second-highest figure, accounting for 25% of the male students.

While
nearly
half of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
enrolled in engineering, around two-thirds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
preferred
humanities and education,
totally
. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
enrolled in education, comprising 35%. Less than a third of female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
preferred
humanities which was the second most popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
of study,
on the other hand
, social sciences had the least figure among all of them.
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IELTS academic The pie cahrts below shoe enrollment in diffrent fields of study at a particular university.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
150 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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