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The percentage of school aged boys in two different age groups who participated in 5 different sports in the UK in 2010.

The percentage of school aged boys in two different age groups who participated in 5 different sports in the UK in 2010. PgJMw
The table illustrates the proportion of the school boys in two aged groups who attended 5 kinds of sports in the UK in 2010 It is clear from the table that football was the sport which the 6 to 11 years olds took part in with the highest percentage, at 87%. The second most preferred sport was cricket, although it was significantly less than the percentage of football, at 45%. Basketball and rugby followed behind which represented 35% and 23% respectively. The least popular sport was swimming, recorded at 19%. /even the least popular sport, swimming, was recorded at a fifth of the figure. In terms of boys aged from 12 to 16, the proportion of football sport/the proportion of those taking part in football also accounted for the highest, at 78% but slightly lower compared to the first group. Similarly, there was a 10% drop in the percentage of cricket sport which was also the second most popular one. Surprisingly, a reduction in the figure of basketball and rugby players which made the total number almost equal at 25% and 21% respectively. 19% was still the number of swimmers in the second category. In general, football was the most common sport for both aged groups. Additionally, the figure of sport participants in the second group was lower than the first one.
The table illustrates the proportion of the school boys in two aged
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groups
who attended 5 kinds of
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sports
in the UK in 2010

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the table that
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football
was the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
which the 6 to 11 years olds
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
took part
in with the highest percentage, at 87%. The second most preferred
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
was cricket, although it was
significantly
less than the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
football
, at 45%. Basketball and rugby followed behind which represented 35% and 23%
respectively
. The least popular
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sport
was swimming, recorded at 19%. /even the least popular
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sport
, swimming,
was recorded
at a fifth of the figure.

In terms of boys aged from 12 to 16, the proportion of
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football
sport/the proportion of those taking part in
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football
also
accounted for the highest, at 78%
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but
slightly
lower compared to the
first
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group
.
Similarly
, there was a 10% drop in the percentage of cricket
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sport
which was
also
the second most popular one.
Surprisingly
, a reduction in the figure of basketball and rugby players which made the total number almost equal at 25% and 21%
respectively
. 19% was
still
the number of swimmers in the second category.

In general
,
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football
was the most common
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sport
for both aged
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groups
.
Additionally
, the figure of
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sport
participants in the second
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group
was lower than the
first
one.
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IELTS academic The percentage of school aged boys in two different age groups who participated in 5 different sports in the UK in 2010.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
222 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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