Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The bar chart shows the typical weekday for students in three different countries

The bar chart shows the typical weekday for students in three different countries WmMq0
The given bar chart illustrate how students utilize their time on holidays in three different regions namely UK, Japan and Germany. Overall, it can be seen from the graph that Japan an Germany's school child prefer to study on their weekends the highest where, in the United Kingdom children are interested in sleeping the most. To begin, in the UK, pupils spend their time for sleeping is at 8. 5 % while, study is come in second place with 8% then they lay out 7% time on relaxing. On the other hand study is the most popular activity among Japan students. it is completely 13%. Whereas, on sleeping they spend about 7 %. However, students lay out only 4% to relax In the case of Germany, for study and sleep pupils spend 9% and 8%, respectively. Students of Germany utilize their time on relaxing is same as UK students which is 7%.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar chart illustrate how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
utilize their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on holidays in three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
regions
namely
UK, Japan and Germany.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the graph that Japan
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
Germany's school child prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
on their weekends the highest where, in the United Kingdom children
are interested
in sleeping the most.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, in the UK, pupils spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for sleeping is at 8. 5 % while,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
in second place with 8% then they lay out 7%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on relaxing.
On the other hand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
is the most popular activity among Japan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is completely 13%.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, on sleeping they spend about 7 %.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
lay out
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
4% to relax

In the case of Germany, for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and sleep pupils spend 9% and 8%,
respectively
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
of Germany utilize their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on relaxing is same as UK
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
which is 7%.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic The bar chart shows the typical weekday for students in three different countries

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
152 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • The bar chart shows the typical weekday for students in three different countries