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the percentage of people living alone in USA from 1850 to 2000

the percentage of people living alone in USA from 1850 to 2000 pXp10
The bar chart Compares the proportion of USA residents who live alone in 5 age classes over a 150 year. It is noticeable that there has been a considerable increase in the figures during the last 50 years. In 1850 approximately 2. 5 percent of all age groups lived alone with the exception of people under 36 years who did not live alone at all. The next 50 years witnessed a small growth in age groups of 47 years and older while there has been no change for 37 to 64 age group. It is observed that a new class had appeared for adults between 27 to 36 years with a percentage of just above 2. Although figures for old residents ageing 55 or above saw a dramatic rise in 1950 to 9% nothing had changed for other existing age categories. About 2% of younger residents ageing from 17 to 26 started living alone in 9015. There was a significant rise in proportion of people living by themselves for all age categories with the 17% of old people being the highest figure among all classes. Young people ageing from 17 to 26 had the lowest proportion of living alone which was 5% while the percentages of adult age groups varied between 7 to 13.
The bar chart Compares the proportion of USA residents who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
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alone
in 5
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age
classes over a 150
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year
. It is noticeable that there has been a considerable increase in the figures during the last 50 years.

In 1850 approximately 2. 5 percent of all
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age
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groups
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
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alone
Consider using "except" or "except for"
with the exception of
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people
under 36 years who did not
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live
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alone
at all. The
next
50 years witnessed a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
growth in
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
of 47 years and older while there has been no
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change
for 37 to 64
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
. It
is observed
that a new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
had appeared for adults
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 27 and 36".
between 27 to 36
years with a percentage of
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just
above 2.

Although figures for
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old
residents
Possible spelling mistake. 'ageing' is British English.
ageing
55 or above
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saw
a dramatic rise in 1950 to 9% nothing had
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changed
for other existing
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age
categories. About 2% of younger residents
Possible spelling mistake. 'ageing' is British English.
ageing
from 17 to 26
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started
living
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alone
in 9015. There was a significant rise in proportion of
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people
living by themselves for all
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age
categories with the 17% of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
being the highest figure among all classes. Young
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people
Possible spelling mistake. 'ageing' is British English.
ageing
from 17 to 26 had the lowest proportion of living
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alone
which was 5% while the percentages of adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
varied
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 7 and 13".
between 7 to 13
.
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IELTS academic the percentage of people living alone in USA from 1850 to 2000

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
214 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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