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The chart below so the information of Amounttype of water in different country

The chart below so the information of Amounttype of water in different country Olk1p
The given pie chart illustrates, the total world water and total fresh water and colum graph shows that, use of water in Egypt, Saudi Arabia, Canada in three different area. Amount of water use describe in percentage. According to 1st pie chart, there are highest water in the world is the saline water. Which is 97. 50 %and remain is fresh water. The second pie chat shows that, the more than half percentage of fresh water is stored in a frozen or glaciers and permanent snows form. Moreover, approx half percentage of fresh underground water. There are a negligible amount of underground ice and fresh renewable water which are accordingly 0. 90 %and 0. 30 %respectively. According to graph that, there is highest use of water in agriculture sector in Saudi Arabia. Which is almost half percentage. As compare to Saudi Arabia Egypt and Canada use 30 to 40 percentage water in same field. However, Saudi Arabia use only 18 % water in industry and 7% in domestic use as compare Canada use double in the same sector. Egypt use less amount of water in industry and domestic use. All in all, it can be clear that, there are only some amount of water is fresh and in that more then half is store in frozen firm. Moreover, Canada use highest percentage of total water as compare to other given countries.
The
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given
pie chart illustrates, the total world
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water
and total
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fresh
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water
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
colum
graph
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shows
that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
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water
in Egypt, Saudi Arabia, Canada in three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
area.
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Amount
of
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water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
in percentage.

According to 1st pie chart, there are
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
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water
in the world is the saline
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water
. Which is 97. 50
Possible spelling mistake found.
%and
remain is
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fresh
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water
. The second pie chat
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shows
that, the more than
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half
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percentage
of
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fresh
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water
is stored
in a frozen or glaciers and permanent snows form.
Moreover
, approx
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half
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percentage
of
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fresh
underground
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water
. There are a negligible
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "amounts"?
amount
of underground ice and
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fresh
renewable
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water
which are
accordingly
0. 90
Possible spelling mistake found.
%and
0. 30 %
respectively
.

According to graph that, there is
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in agriculture sector in Saudi Arabia. Which is almost
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half
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percentage
. As compare to Saudi Arabia Egypt and Canada
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use
30 to 40
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percentage
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water
in same field.
However
, Saudi Arabia
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use
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only
18 %
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water
in industry and 7% in domestic
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use
as compare Canada
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use
double in the same sector. Egypt
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "uses".
use
less
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amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in industry and domestic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.

All in all, it can be
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clear
that, there are
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only
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some
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "amounts"?
amount
of
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water
is
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fresh
and in that more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
then
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half
is store in frozen firm.
Moreover
, Canada
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use
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
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percentage
of total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
as compare to other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
countries.
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IELTS academic The chart below so the information of Amounttype of water in different country

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
231 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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