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the percentage of men and women who passed the driving test

the percentage of men and women who passed the driving test J0YKE
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of males and females who passed the test of driving in one Asian nation between 1980 and 2010. Overall, It appears that the amount of women passing driving test is always higher than men ones. The figure showed an upward trend from 1980 to 2000 in both two sex. As can be seen from the chart, in 1980 the percentage of women passed the test was around 50%, nearly two times higher than the number of men in this period of time. Then ten year later there was a slight climb of female passers, while the population of other sex increased minimally. For the year 2000, the quantity of women significantly growth, up to about 70% as a development of transportation, then decline slightly in 2010. By contrast, the number of men who passed the test of driving rose gradually in the same time, and stay steadly until 2010.
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of males and females who passed the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
test
of driving in one Asian nation between 1980 and 2010.

Overall
, It appears that the amount of women passing driving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
test
is always higher than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
ones. The figure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
an upward trend from 1980 to 2000 in both two sex.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the chart, in 1980 the percentage of women passed the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
test
was around 50%,
nearly
two times higher than the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
in this period of time. Then ten year later there was a slight climb of female passers, while the population of other sex increased
minimally
.

For the year 2000, the quantity of women
significantly
growth, up to about 70% as a development of transportation, then decline
slightly
in 2010. By contrast, the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
who passed the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
test
of driving rose
gradually
in the same time, and stay
Possible spelling mistake found.
steadly
until 2010.
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IELTS academic the percentage of men and women who passed the driving test

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
155 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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