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The ages of the populations of oman and spain in 2005 and projections for 2055

The ages of the populations of oman and spain in 2005 and projections for 2055 8gJ6k
The given pie charts shows the population ratio of two countries during 2005. Also, it indicates some rapid changes to 2055. According to the first pie chart, there were just under a half population of Oman in 2005 whereas the same year, the share of elders as same as adulte. As we can see, there were a tiny fraction in Oman. On the other hand a small minority noted in Spain during 2005. The population of elders could be reached more than a half in 2055. The number of children will be bottomed out at 6% of Oman. Though in Spain double of Oman’s population would be seen in 2055. There were a significant majority of elders in Spain during 2005 which will be decreased at 46% in 2055. The population of adults in Spain will be more than population of adults in Oman. All in all, it can be derived that the population of Oman and Spain have drastic changes during 2005 and 2055. Therefore, from the charts it is clearly seen that Spain will be got more adults and children.
The
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given
pie charts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
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population
ratio of two countries during 2005.
Also
, it indicates
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some
rapid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to 2055.

According to the
first
pie chart, there were
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just
under a half
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of Oman in 2005 whereas the same year, the share of elders as same as
Possible spelling mistake found.
adulte
. As we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, there were a tiny fraction in Oman.
On the other hand
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
minority noted in Spain during 2005. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of elders could
be reached
more than a half in 2055. The number of children will
be bottomed
out at 6% of Oman.
“Though” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Though
in Spain double of Oman’s
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population
would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in 2055. There were a significant majority of elders in Spain during 2005 which will
be decreased
at 46% in 2055. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
in Spain will be more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
in Oman.

All in all, it can
be derived
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of Oman and Spain have drastic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
during 2005 and 2055.
Therefore
, from the charts it is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that Spain will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
and children.
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IELTS academic The ages of the populations of oman and spain in 2005 and projections for 2055

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
182 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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