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The online shopping trends in 2015

The online shopping trends in 2015 0E7gB
The line graph illustrates the level of different age group for different times of the day regarding online shopping in 2015. Online sales is mentioned in percentage. Overall, it can be witnessed from the graph, online sale among all age the group have the same peak point of time between 6pm to 8pm, except the age group of 60 plus. To begin, age group between 16 years to 24 years experienced a steady increase in online sales until 4pm to 6pm, then it rose sharply and reached its peak at 6pm to 8pm with the sales of 27 per cent. On the other hand, age group between 25 years to 34 years and 35 years to 44 years witnessed modest growth between 9am to 12pm and remained constant with minor fluctuations from 12pm to 4pm, then the sales of both the age group reached to its peak at 30 per cent and 29 per cent form 6pm to 8pm. Interestingly, age group of 60 plus shows a very different trend. Online sales increased sharply and decline as well from 18 per cent to 10 per cent between 9am to 2pm. Then it fluctuates between 2pm to 4pm and starts declining. Age group of 45 years to 59 years remained constant after 12pm until 4pm and after that reached to its peak at 20 per cent.
The line graph illustrates the level of
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different
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age
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group
for
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different
times of the day regarding
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online
shopping in 2015.
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Online
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sales
is mentioned
in percentage.

Overall
, it can
be witnessed
from the graph,
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online
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sale
among all
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age
the
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group
have the same
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peak
point of time between 6pm to 8pm, except the
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age
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group
of 60 plus.

To
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begin
,
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age
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group
between 16 years to 24 years experienced a steady increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
until 4pm to 6pm, then it rose
sharply
and reached its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peak
at 6pm to 8pm with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of 27 per cent.
On the other hand
,
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
between 25 years to 34 years and 35 years to 44 years witnessed modest growth between 9am to 12pm and remained constant with minor fluctuations from 12pm to 4pm, then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of both the
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age
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group
reached to its
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peak
at 30 per cent and 29 per cent form 6pm to 8pm.

Interestingly
,
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age
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group
of 60 plus
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shows
a
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very
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different
trend.
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Online
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sales
increased
sharply
and decline
as well
from 18 per cent to 10 per cent between 9am to 2pm. Then it fluctuates between 2pm to 4pm and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
declining.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Age
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group
of 45 years to 59 years remained constant after 12pm until 4pm and after that reached to its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peak
at 20 per cent.
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IELTS academic The online shopping trends in 2015

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
225 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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