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The number of sport TV program

The number of sport TV program Rwykp
The table presents the number of sports TV program viewer in four countries, measured in million people. Conspicuously, the figure of tennis is highest while the statistics of motor racing is lowest. According the table, the number of tennis in different countries is hover in the rate of 6 to 7 million people. The statistics of motor racing in UK is approximately twice as high as Australia, over four times equally USA and roughly fivefold higher than Canada. Furthermore, golf is popular with USA by 11, 2 million people, following by Australia, Canada and UK. It is common for people to play athletics in USA. By contrast, in Australia, the number of athletics is less popular with 3 millon people.
The table presents the number of sports TV program viewer in four countries, measured in
Use "a million" or use a number before 'million'.
million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Conspicuously
, the figure of tennis is
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
while the statistics of motor racing is lowest.

It appears that a preposition is missing after 'According'.
According the
table, the number of tennis in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries is hover in the rate of 6 to 7 million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The statistics of motor racing in UK is approximately twice as high as Australia, over four times
equally
USA and roughly fivefold higher than Canada.

Furthermore
, golf is popular
A determiner is probably missing here: "with the USA".
with USA
by 11, 2 million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, following by Australia, Canada and UK. It is common for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to play athletics
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
. By contrast, in Australia, the number of athletics is less popular with 3
Possible spelling mistake found.
millon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS academic The number of sport TV program

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
120 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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