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The number of passengers using a metro station in Paris for a day

The number of passengers using a metro station in Paris for a day 0oE3
The line graph presents the information about a metro station passengers in Paris for 6 am to 10 pm. Overall, the highest number of people used the metro station at 8 am and 6 pm whereas the lowest number of passengers used the service at 4 pm to 5 pm in the given period. The number of passengers rose dramatically 100 to a peak of 400 at 6 am to 8 am. However, the number dropped significantly by around 200 people approximately 10 am. On the contrary there was no variation from 12 pm to 2 pm and the number is less than 300. on the contrary the number of people decreased sharply at 4 pm below 100 people. Between 5 pm to 6 pm the number of passengers gradually increased at the same way. By contrast, the number of people fell substantially less than 200 people between 9pm and 10 pm.
The line graph presents the information about a metro station
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passengers
in Paris for 6 am to 10 pm.
Overall
, the highest
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number
of
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the metro station at 8 am and 6 pm whereas the lowest
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number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passengers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the service at 4 pm to 5 pm in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period. The
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number
of
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passengers
rose
dramatically
100 to a peak of 400 at 6 am to 8 am.
However
, the
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number
dropped
significantly
by around 200
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people
approximately 10 am.
On the contrary
there was no variation from 12 pm to 2 pm and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
is less than 300.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
the contrary the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
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people
decreased
sharply
at 4 pm below 100
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people
. Between 5 pm to 6 pm the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passengers
gradually
increased at the same way. By contrast, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
fell
substantially
less than 200
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
between 9pm and 10 pm.
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IELTS academic The number of passengers using a metro station in Paris for a day

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
152 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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