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the number of infected and recover patients

the number of infected and recover patients Gr5ng
The bar chart illustrates the number of people infected by Coronavirus and recovered from it over 5 days starting on 13 August 2021. As can be seen from the chart, the figure for infected and recovered patients witnessed a slight growth over 5 days. It is also evident that while the number of people being infected on 14 August was highest over among all days, the majority of the recovered patients was on 15th August On 13th August, the number of coronavirus cases in Viet Nam stood at 9180 cases and subsequently hit a peak at 9716 cases in the next day. The figure for infected patients decreased marginally and then reach the bottom of 8652 patients on 16th August which was followed by an even more remarkable increase to 9650 cases at the end of the period Stood at 3593 patients, the number of recovered patients witness a surge and reach the highest point at 5519 patients in the next 2 days. While an opposite tendency was seen on 16th August and 17 August, that figure decreased gradually to 4473 for the former and 4331 for the latter
The bar chart illustrates the
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number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
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infected
by Coronavirus and
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recovered
from it over 5 days starting on 13 August 2021.

As can be
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seen
from the chart, the figure for
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infected
and
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recovered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patients
witnessed a slight growth over 5 days. It is
also
evident that while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
being
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infected
on 14 August was
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
over among all days, the majority of the
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recovered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patients
was on 15th August

On 13th August, the
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number
of coronavirus cases in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viet
Nam stood at 9180 cases and
subsequently
hit a peak at 9716 cases in the
next
day. The figure for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patients
decreased
marginally
and then reach the bottom of 8652
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patients
on 16th August which
was followed
by an even more remarkable increase to 9650 cases at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period

Stood at 3593
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patients
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recovered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patients
witness a surge and reach the highest point at 5519
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patients
in the
next
2 days. While an opposite tendency was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
on 16th August and 17 August, that figure decreased
gradually
to 4473 for the former and 4331 for the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
latter

IELTS academic the number of infected and recover patients

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
188 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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