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The diagrams depicts the various process and machineries involved in production of cement and the utilization of cement to make concrete used in construction.

The diagrams depicts the various process and machineries involved in production of cement and the utilization of cement to make concrete used in construction. LG5PG
The diagrams depicts the various process and machineries involved in production of cement and the utilization of cement to make concrete used in construction. First of all, the two raw material limestone and clay are added to the crusher resulting fine powder. This powder is placed in mixer and is then is passed through rotating heater for the purpose of heating. Again it is grind into powder form where the final product cement is made. Then it is packed in bags and is ready for supply. The production of concrete involves the cement which is one of the raw material in addition to the others like water sand and gravel. Cement (15%) in addition with water (10%) with sand (25%) and gravels(50%) which are small stones are added in the concrete mixture. The concrete in liquid state is obtained as a resulting product used for building construction. Overall, both the process requires raw materials and equipment in addition of water and each stage for both have their own significance to obtained desired product.
The diagrams
You should probably use "depict".
depicts
the various process and
Possible spelling mistake found.
machineries
involved in production of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
and the utilization of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
concrete
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in construction.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the two raw material limestone and clay are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to the crusher resulting fine powder. This powder
is placed
in mixer and is then
is passed
through rotating heater for the purpose of heating. Again it is
Consider using a past participle here: "ground".
grind
into powder form where the final product
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
is made
. Then it
is packed
in bags and is ready for supply.

The production of concrete involves the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
which is one of the raw material
in addition
to the others like water sand and gravel.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cement
(15%)
in addition
with water (10%) with sand (25%) and gravels(50%) which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
stones are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
in the concrete mixture. The concrete in liquid state
is obtained
as a resulting product
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for building construction.

Overall
, both the process requires raw materials and equipment
in addition
of water and each stage for both have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
significance to obtained desired product.
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IELTS academic The diagrams depicts the various process and machineries involved in production of cement and the utilization of cement to make concrete used in construction.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
173 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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