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THE TABLE BELOW SHOWS THE AVERAGE WEEKLY SALARIES OF MEN AND OF WOMEN WORKING IN DIFFERENT OCCUPATIONS

THE TABLE BELOW SHOWS THE AVERAGE WEEKLY SALARIES OF MEN AND OF WOMEN WORKING IN DIFFERENT OCCUPATIONS bQmaB
The given table illustrates how much money men and women gained every week in different occupations. Overall, it is clear that men receive money higher than women in all jobs. Furthermore, people who are professionals have the highest income compared to others jobs. Looking at the table more closely, one can see that 1400 dollars are gained by men who work as a technician. However, women who work as the same job only earn 900 dollars per week. Similarly, men manual laborers have 1, 100 dollars per week, compared to just 850 dollars paid for women doing the same occupation. In contrast, the gap between the salary of men and women is narrowest when they work as professionals. For men, they can earn 2000$ every week and women can receive 100 dollars less than them. On the other hand, men service and administrative/clerical workers are paid 1, 300 dollars and 1, 350 dollars every week respectively. However, women who do the same jobs just earn 350 dollars less than men.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
table illustrates how much money
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men
and
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women
gained every
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week
in
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different
occupations.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
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men
receive money higher than
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women
in all jobs.
Furthermore
,
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people
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who
are professionals have the highest income compared to others jobs.

Looking at the table more
closely
, one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that 1400
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dollars
are gained
by
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men
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who
work as a technician.
However
,
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women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
work as the same job
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
earn 900
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dollars
per
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week
.
Similarly
,
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men
manual laborers have 1, 100
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dollars
per
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week
, compared to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
850
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dollars
paid for
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women
doing the same occupation.
In contrast
, the gap between the salary of
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men
and
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women
is narrowest when they work as professionals. For
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men
, they can earn
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$2000".
2000$
every
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week
and
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women
can receive 100
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dollars
less than them.

On the other hand
,
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men
service and administrative/clerical workers
are paid
1, 300
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dollars
and 1, 350
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dollars
every
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week
respectively
.
However
,
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women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do the same jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
earn 350
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
less than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
.
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IELTS academic THE TABLE BELOW SHOWS THE AVERAGE WEEKLY SALARIES OF MEN AND OF WOMEN WORKING IN DIFFERENT OCCUPATIONS

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
170 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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