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charitable donations of people living in Britain

charitable donations of people living in Britain R569Y
The diagram shows the levels of charitable donations of people living in Britain, separated by age, between 1990 and 2010. Overall, there was a general decrease in the percentage of people who donated money over the two time periods. However, the pattern differs between the three age groups before 50 and the two age groups after the age of 50. The highest decrease was in the 18-25 category, which saw a decrease of 10%, from 17% in 1990 to 7% in 2010. 42% of people in the 36-50 age group gave to charity in 1990, the highest on the chart, and this fell to 35% in 2010. There was also a significant decline in donations among 26-35 year olds, from 31% to 24%. The exception to this general trend downwards was among the 51-65 year olds and over 65s. In 2010, the 51-65 year olds gave the highest percentage with nearly 40 percent and this rose from 35% in 1990. Finally, those over 65 displayed a slight percentage increase of 3 percent.
The diagram
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shows
the levels of charitable donations of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living in Britain, separated by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, between 1990 and 2010.

Overall
, there was a general decrease in the percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who donated money over the two time periods.
However
, the pattern differs between the three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
groups
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
50 and the two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
groups after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 50.

The highest decrease was in the 18-25 category, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a decrease of 10%, from 17% in 1990 to 7% in 2010. 42% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the 36-50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group gave to charity in 1990, the highest on the chart, and this fell to 35% in 2010. There was
also
a significant decline in donations among 26-35 year olds, from 31% to 24%.

The exception to this general trend downwards was among the 51-65 year olds and over 65s. In 2010, the 51-65 year olds gave the highest percentage with
nearly
40 percent and this rose from 35% in 1990.
Finally
, those over 65 displayed a slight percentage increase of 3 percent.
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IELTS academic charitable donations of people living in Britain

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
172 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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