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The number of boys and girls using the internet at redwood secondary school from 1950 to 2000.

The number of boys and girls using the internet at redwood secondary school from 1950 to 2000. GrVAe
The given bar graph illustrates the number of boys and girls who used the internet at redwood secondary school from 1995 to 2000. Overall, it can be see that students who used the internet were increased with the given time period. Also, in general the internet was used by boys was more than girls. In detail, the highest number of boys and girls who used the internet was 325 in 2001 and 2002 respectively. In 1998, the internet was used by boys at redwood secondary school accounted for nearly 290 and this figures rose slightly at 310 and 320 in 1999 and 2000 respectively. By contrast, in 1998, in redwood secondary school number of girls who used the net stood at around 300, but it fell moderately in 1999 and reached 290. Moreover, in1996 and 1997, the number of boys used the internet in school was approximately 180 and 240 respectively, while the figures for girls were roughly 180 and 230 respectively. Finally, in1995 there was a least number of boys and girls used the internet with the figures of nearly 110 and 80 respectively.
The
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given
bar graph illustrates the
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number
of
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boys
and
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girls
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the internet at redwood secondary
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school
from 1995 to 2000.

Overall
, it can be
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see
that students
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who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the internet
were increased
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
time period.
Also
,
in general
the internet was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
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boys
was more than girls.

In detail, the highest
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number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the internet was 325 in 2001 and 2002
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respectively
. In 1998, the internet was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
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boys
at redwood secondary
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school
accounted for
nearly
290 and this figures rose
slightly
at 310 and 320 in 1999 and 2000
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respectively
. By contrast, in 1998, in redwood secondary
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school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
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girls
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who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the net stood at around 300,
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but
it fell
moderately
in 1999 and reached 290.

Moreover
, in1996 and 1997, the
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number
of
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boys
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the internet in
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school
was approximately 180 and 240
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respectively
, while the figures for
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girls
were roughly 180 and 230
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respectively
.
Finally
, in1995 there was
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
least
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number
of
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boys
and
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girls
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the internet with the figures of
nearly
110 and 80
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respectively
.
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IELTS academic The number of boys and girls using the internet at redwood secondary school from 1950 to 2000.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
185 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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