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sales of jams from year 2005 to 2014

sales of jams from year 2005 to 2014 wK5dn
The line chart illustrates the sales of five different kinds of jam (Strawberry, Raspberry, Grape, Cherry, Plum) between the years 2009 to 2014. Overall, The sales of Strawberry are higher as compared to the other jams, followed by Raspberry, Grapes, Cherry and Plum. Grapes showes the steady increase in the sales whereas plum shows the steep decline in sales. Meanwhile, cherry shows the fluctuations in the sales from start to end. In the year 2005, The sales of plum were equal to the sales of raspberry, Whereas the sales of grapes were the least but eventually, grapes became the third most selling jam and plum became the least selling jam by the year 2014. And raspberry shows no decline in sales with becoming the highest selling jam in the year 2012 to becoming the second most selling jam by the year 2014. Strawberry has been the most selling jam since 2009 to 2014, loosing it's spot to raspberry by a small margin of sales in the year 2012. Whereas, cherry has performed slightly well as it stared at 2 in the year 2005 and ended up at slightly below 3 in the year 2014.
The line chart illustrates the
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sales
of five
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of jam (Strawberry, Raspberry,
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Grape
, Cherry,
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Plum)
between the years 2009 to 2014.

Overall
, The
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sales
of Strawberry are higher
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compared to the other jams, followed by Raspberry,
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Grapes
, Cherry and
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Plum
.
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Grapes
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "shows", the plural form of the noun 'show'?
showes
the steady increase in the
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sales
whereas
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plum
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shows
the steep decline in
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sales
. Meanwhile, cherry
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shows
the fluctuations in the
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sales
from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

In the
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year
2005, The
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sales
of
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plum
were equal to the
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sales
of raspberry, Whereas the
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sales
of
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grapes
were the least
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
eventually
,
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grapes
became the third most
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selling
jam and
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plum
became the least
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selling
jam by the
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year
2014. And raspberry
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shows
no decline in
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sales
with becoming the highest
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selling
jam in the
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year
2012 to becoming the second most
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selling
jam by the
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year
2014.

Strawberry has been the most
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selling
jam since 2009 to 2014, loosing it's

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
spot
to raspberry by a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
margin of
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sales
in the
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year
2012. Whereas, cherry has performed
slightly
well as it stared at 2 in the
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year
2005 and ended up at
slightly
below 3 in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2014.
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IELTS academic sales of jams from year 2005 to 2014

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
194 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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