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Describe the flow chart of consequence of deforestation

Describe the flow chart of consequence of deforestation MBn9L
The flow chart shows the consequences of deforestation. When trees are clear cut, there are 4 main effects, which lead to flooding, vegetation being degraded, and less biodiversity. The first consequence is that the soil was compressed by heavy logging equipment, which caused the soil to become hard and baked, which resulted in water from rain running off and flooding. The second consequence is that the number of roots that hold the top soil is reduced, which leads to soil erosion and followed by pioneer species moving in, and, as a result, vegetation is degraded. The third consequence is the increasing risk of burning, which can be both deliberate or accidental. Because of burning, the waste wood from logging is destroyed and the microorganisms that feed on this wood are lost, which causes degraded vegetation and As a consequence, biodiversity is declining. And the last consequence is that it decreases the amount of moisture that plants return to the air, so there will be less precipitation and increased drought, which will result in pioneer species moving in and vegetation degrading.
The flow chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the consequences of deforestation. When trees are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
, there are 4 main effects, which lead to flooding,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vegetation
being degraded
, and less biodiversity.

The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consequence
is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soil
was compressed
by heavy logging equipment, which caused the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soil
to become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and baked, which resulted in water from rain running off and flooding.

The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consequence
is that the number of roots that hold the top
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soil
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
, which leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soil
erosion and followed by pioneer species moving in, and,
as a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vegetation
is degraded
.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
third
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consequence
is the increasing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of burning, which can be both deliberate or accidental.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of burning, the waste wood from logging is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
and the microorganisms that feed on this wood
are lost
, which causes degraded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vegetation
and As a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consequence
, biodiversity is declining.

And the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consequence
is that it decreases the amount of moisture that plants return to the air,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there will be less precipitation and increased drought, which will result in pioneer species moving in and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vegetation
degrading.
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IELTS academic Describe the flow chart of consequence of deforestation

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
180 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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