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The maps show the changes that happened to an island called paradise.

The two maps illustrate some changes of paradise island between in the past and at the present. Overall, it is clearly seen from the maps that the island experienced considerable changes during the period shown. The noticeable differences between two maps are the disappearance of the green trees and the expansion of the pier. The island originally a little developed in the past. The pier has been expanded larger and longer and a boat has been replaced by ship and cruise ship in order to support for the tourism and the commerce. Beach has been improved so that people can do swimming which was not permitted in the past. Scenic lookout has been built so as to contribute to the island development. Turning to the other features, we can see on the mainland that green trees have been cut down to make way for the constructions. Scientific research station has been demolished and replaced by swimming pool and big hotel complex. The restaurant has been opened with adding the BBQ area and the coffee shop. Cycle path has surrounded the main island and connected to the constructions.
The two maps illustrate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
of paradise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
between in the past and at the present.
Overall
, it is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the maps that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
experienced considerable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
during the period shown. The noticeable differences between two maps are the disappearance of the green trees and the expansion of the pier. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
originally
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
developed in the past. The pier has
been expanded
larger and longer and a boat has
been replaced
by ship and cruise ship in order to support for the tourism and the commerce. Beach has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
The usual collocation for an activity ending in “-ing” is “go”, not “do” or “play”.
do swimming
which was not permitted in the past. Scenic lookout has
been built
‘So as to’ expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using “to”
so as to
contribute to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
development. Turning to the other features, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
on the mainland that green trees have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
way for the constructions. Scientific research station has
been demolished
and replaced by swimming pool and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
hotel complex. The restaurant has
been opened
with adding the BBQ area and the coffee shop. Cycle path has surrounded the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
and connected to the constructions.
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IELTS academic The maps show the changes that happened to an island called paradise.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
187 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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