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The graph below shows the reported number of cases of influenza in people over 65 in a certain village in the Uk from 1985 to 1995

The graph illustrate the number of people over 65 reported with influenza in four different village in the UK between 1985 and 1995. Overall, it can be seen that, despite of some fluctuation over the period as a whole the number of influnza cases reported was rose. In 1985 the number of people which was diagnosed with influenza stood at 40. However, the reported cases increased gradually to about 55 in 1987. Then number of cases slightly drop to just below 50, after that rose significantly to hit a peak of 75 in 1991. The following year witnessed a gradual decrease to 60 cases was reported in 1993, next year the number of influenza people increased 5 cases, then the number remained 60 at the end of the period.
The graph
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: “illustrates”.
illustrate
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
over 65
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reported
with influenza in four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
village in the UK between 1985 and 1995.
Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that,
Did you mean “despite” (or, alternatively, ‘in spite of’)?
despite of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fluctuation over the period as a whole the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
influnza
cases
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reported
was rose. In 1985 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
which
was diagnosed
with influenza stood at 40.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reported
cases increased
gradually
to about 55 in 1987. Then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of cases
slightly
drop to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
below 50, after that rose
significantly
to hit a peak of 75 in 1991. The following year witnessed a gradual decrease to 60 cases was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reported
in 1993,
next
year the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of influenza
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
increased 5 cases, then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
remained 60 at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period.
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IELTS academic The graph below shows the reported number of cases of influenza in people over 65 in a certain village in the Uk from 1985 to 1995

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
129 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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