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Number of students' school trips in year 1990 and 2010

The bar chart provides information about the total number of school trips in a nation in the years 1990 and 2010 made by students aged between 5 and 12 using various types of transportation. Unit of trips per year is mentioned in millions. Overall from the chart it is very clear that walking is the main mode of travel to school in 1990. However, slowly over the years in 2010 the scenario got changed and car passenger became the primary source of school trips. In 1990, the total number of trips by foot alone was slightly above 12 million followed by bus which was almost half of walking alone mode in number. School trips using cycle, foot and bus was around 6 million. The least number of trips was carried out by cars which was approximately above 4 million Contrastingly in 2010, students travelled to schools by cars increased to almost 11 million and also the number reduced to 6 million in walking i. e. more than half when compared to 1990. Around 2 million pupil reduced in case of bus ad more than 2 million reduced in walking and bus scenario. By cycle only 2 million students travelled in 2010 which was close to 4 million lesser than the students travelled in 1990.
The bar chart provides information about the total
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number
of
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school
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trips
in a nation in the years 1990 and 2010 made by
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students
aged between 5 and 12 using various types of transportation. Unit of
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trips
per year
is mentioned
in millions.

Overall
from the chart it is
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very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that walking is the main mode of travel to
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school
in 1990.
However
,
slowly
over the years in 2010 the scenario
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
and car passenger became the primary source of
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school
trips.

In 1990, the total
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number
of
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trips
by foot alone was
slightly
above 12
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million
followed by bus which was almost half of walking alone mode in
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number
.
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School
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trips
using cycle, foot and bus was around 6
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million
. The least
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number
of
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trips
was carried
out by cars which was approximately above 4
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
million


Possible spelling mistake found.
Contrastingly
in 2010,
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students
travelled to
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schools
by cars increased to almost 11
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million
and
also
the
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number
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reduced
to 6
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million
in walking
There should be no space here: “i.e.”.
i. e.
more than half when compared to 1990. Around 2
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million
pupil
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reduced
in case of bus ad more than 2
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million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
in walking and bus scenario. By cycle
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only
2
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million
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students
travelled in 2010 which was close to 4
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million
lesser than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
travelled in 1990.
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IELTS academic Number of students' school trips in year 1990 and 2010

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
214 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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