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The maps give information on main features of beachfront in Australia today and fifty years ago (in 1950).

The maps give information on main features of beachfront in Australia today and fifty years ago (in 1950). 735R6
Overall, it had described eight items in 1950 but currently it is eleven. The beachfront area has been enlarged and built a number of entertainment in today, whereas in 1950 Australian beach was small and items was less than today First of all, the way has been connected with light house and made a direction road with beach. And also there some items which were changed their old places. The beachfront area in 1950, there were play ground was situated exit of beach but today it has been displaced with car park and directly linked with high road. The next of play ground was dining tables and near of them was Pavilion. At the end of the way was car park is located. Each side of beach (left and right) was swimming pool and the size had been remarked 25m. And today two car parks have been described and the road split out and continued till lighthouse. Also there is surf club over the way. One of the swimming pools which locating left side increased from 25m to 50m. And also has built restaurant on the left side of beach. Between restaurant and beach also have second surf club.
Overall
, it had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
eight items in 1950
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
currently
it is eleven. The beachfront area has
been enlarged
and built
Possible agreement error. The noun entertainment seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much entertainment", "a good deal of entertainment".
a number of entertainment
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, whereas in 1950 Australian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beach
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
and items was less than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today


This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the way has
been connected
with light
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and made a direction road with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beach
. And
also
there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
items which were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
places. The beachfront area in 1950, there were play ground
was situated
exit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beach
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
it has
been displaced
with car park and
directly
linked with high road. The
next
of play ground was dining tables and near of them was Pavilion. At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the way was car park
is located
. Each side of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beach
(
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
and right) was swimming pool and the size had
been remarked
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "25 m"
25m
.

And
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
two car parks have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
and the road split out and continued till lighthouse.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
there is surf club over the way. One of the swimming pools which locating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
side increased from
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "25 m"
25m
to
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "50 m"
50m
. And
also
has built restaurant on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
side of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beach
. Between restaurant and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beach
also
have second surf club.
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IELTS academic The maps give information on main features of beachfront in Australia today and fifty years ago (in 1950).

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
199 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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