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The maps display the changes in the town of Missoula from 2003-2008

The maps display the changes in the town of Missoula from 2003-2008 LGyj3
The two maps illustrate the changes that occurred over a five year period in the town of Missoula from 2003-2008. To begin with, it is apparent there was significant development on the west side of Missoula, which is divided by a river in the middle of town. On the far west side just north of the park, the community garden was demolished to make way for the expansion of houses. Furthermore, where the school once stood is now a larger University, which was developed more westward as compared to the old school building in 2003. On the east side of the river, the town went through greater urbanization in 2008. On the far east side, the forest was cut down to construct a fairgrounds, which is located north of the newly built salt mine in the southeast. In addition, the school was relocated from the west side to the east side of the river, which is north of the expanded hospital in the south. Lastly, the apartments were con- verted into a mobile home park, which is nestled between the school and the hospital by the river bank.
The two maps illustrate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
that occurred over a
When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use a hyphen: "five-year"
five year
period in the town of Missoula from 2003-2008. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is apparent there was significant development on the west side of Missoula, which
is divided
by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
river
in the middle of town. On the far west side
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
north of the park, the community garden
was demolished
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
way for the expansion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
.
Furthermore
, where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
once stood is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
a larger University, which
was developed
more westward as compared to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
building in 2003. On the east side of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
river
, the town went through greater urbanization in 2008. On the far east side, the forest was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down to construct
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a fairground" or simply "fairgrounds"?
a fairgrounds
, which
is located
north of the
newly
built salt mine in the southeast.
In addition
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
was relocated
from the west side to the east side of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
river
, which is north of the expanded hospital in the south.
Lastly
, the apartments were con-
Possible spelling mistake found.
verted
into a mobile home park, which
is nestled
between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and the hospital by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
river
bank.
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IELTS academic The maps display the changes in the town of Missoula from 2003-2008

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
188 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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