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how household energy and greenhouse gas emission are consumed

how household energy and greenhouse gas emission are consumed Ololy
These pie charts illustrate, how household energy and greenhouse gas emission are consumed an average Australian household. As an overall trend, it can clearly be seen that, heating has biggest percentage in household energy, on the other hand the figures for cooling are lowest and water heating has almost similar proportion in both of them. We can see there are substantial difference in using energy in both of them. Consumption for heating is 42% in household energy which is biggest percentage, while 15% is consumed in greenhouse gas emission. By contrast, 28% other appliances are used in gas emission which has high proportion in this pie chart, compared with 15% on the other chart. Figures for refrigerator and lighting are (7%and4%respectivly) in household energy, while their emission greenhouse increase. In conclusion, in an average Australian household, demand for heating is high fortunately produce of greenhouse gas is only 15%. the water heating and other appliances produce the most greenhouse gas which cause jeopardize the ecosystem.
These pie charts illustrate, how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
and
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greenhouse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emission
are consumed
an average Australian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
. As an
overall
trend, it can
clearly
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
has
A determiner is probably missing here: "the biggest".
biggest
percentage in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
, on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand the figures for cooling are lowest and water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
has almost similar proportion in both of them.

We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
there are substantial difference in using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
in both of them. Consumption for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
is 42% in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
which is
A determiner is probably missing here: "the biggest".
biggest
percentage, while 15%
is consumed
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
greenhouse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emission
. By contrast, 28%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
appliances are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emission
which has high proportion in this pie chart, compared with 15% on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
chart. Figures for refrigerator and lighting are (7%and4%
respectivly
) in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
, while their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emission
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
greenhouse
increase.

In conclusion
, in an average Australian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
, demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
is high
fortunately
produce of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
greenhouse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
15%.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
appliances produce the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
greenhouse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
which cause jeopardize the ecosystem.
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IELTS academic how household energy and greenhouse gas emission are consumed

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
165 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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