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describe a chart about technology

describe a chart about technology mLnLN
So, we want to describe a chart about technology for example: smart phone, laptop, smart watch, tablet. It’s a increasing trend because we all days every days need a technology. Firstly I want to describe a smart phone today in this situation all of us all days every days need the smart phone cause it’s comfortable use in the 2010 38 percent of the people start to use the smart phone after5 years in 2015 it’s near to 60 percent and after 10 years it’s maybe near to 90 percent! and smart watch chart it’s like smart phone because you can transfer your smart phone or smart watch to every were you want it’s very comfortable but if you want to transfer a laptop or tablet you have a little problem for the size. In the other hand you can use a laptop or tablet for important job for example: write an email or study a lot or trade or something like this job. At the end as you know all of us all days every days need to use technology because it’s necessary you need socialize with other people with social media and have video call or voice call and chat and this chart always increasing.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
a chart about technology
for example
:
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
, laptop,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
, tablet. It’s
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
increasing trend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we all days every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "day"?
days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
a technology.

Firstly
I
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want
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
in this situation all of us all days every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "day"?
days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
cause it’s comfortable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in the 2010 38 percent of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
after5 years in 2015 it’s near to 60 percent and after 10 years it’s maybe near to 90 percent!
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
chart it’s like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you can transfer your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
to every were you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
it’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
comfortable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to transfer a laptop or tablet you have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
problem for the size.

In the other hand you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a laptop or tablet for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
job
for example
: write an email or study a lot or trade or something like this job.

At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
as you know all of us all days every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "day"?
days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
technology
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it’s necessary you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
socialize with other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with social media and have video call or voice call and chat and this chart always increasing.
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IELTS academic describe a chart about technology

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
207 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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