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The maps describe great transformation which place in Youngsville in New Zealand over a 25-year period between 1980 and 2005

The maps describe great transformation which place in Youngsville in New Zealand over a 25-year period between 1980 and 2005 R0rKQ
The maps describe great transformation which place in Youngsville in New Zealand over a 25-year period between 1980 and 2005 We can seen that a comparison between two pictures reveals the town experienced the great progress of industrialization and urbanization. To the north of Alanah river, in 1980, many trees around the lake was cut down to make a way for the appearance of a car parking and an outside park in 2005 but the hospital was unchanged. In 2005, there was an appearance of stadium and the extension railway which ran directly South in place of area’s citizens, while the nearby car parking have been constructed. The period from 1980 to 2005 witnessed the appearance of the maria. In the South of the Alanah river, all trees was demolish to give way for skyscrapers, factories, warehouse. In 2005, many houses and trees which was situated along the coast was destroyed to make way for skyscrapers and warehouses, the school along the riverbank remained untouched over the period 25 years while there was an appearance of the nearby factories in place for citizen’s house. The south of school witnessed the replacement of a park by the factories and warehouse. Further developments were the appearance of factories in place of trees.
The maps
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describe
great transformation which
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place
in
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Youngsville
in New Zealand over a 25-year period between 1980 and 2005

We can
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seen
that a comparison between two pictures reveals the town experienced the great progress of industrialization and urbanization.

To the north of
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Alanah
river, in 1980,
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many
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trees
around the lake was
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cut
down to
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make
a way for the
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appearance
of a car parking and an outside park in 2005
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but
the hospital
was unchanged
. In 2005, there was an
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appearance
of stadium and the extension railway which ran
directly
South in
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place
of area’s citizens, while the nearby car parking have
been constructed
. The period from 1980 to 2005 witnessed the
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appearance
of the maria.

In the South of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Alanah
river, all
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trees
was
Consider using a past participle here: "demolished".
demolish
to give way for skyscrapers,
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factories
, warehouse. In 2005,
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many
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houses
and
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trees
which
was situated
along the coast was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
way for skyscrapers and warehouses, the school along the riverbank remained untouched over the period 25 years while there was an
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appearance
of the nearby
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factories
in
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place
for citizen’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. The south of school witnessed the replacement of a park by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
and warehouse.
Further
developments were the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appearance
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
.

IELTS academic The maps describe great transformation which place in Youngsville in New Zealand over a 25-year period between 1980 and 2005

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
210 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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