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The maps below show the changes that have taken place on the outskirts of a town called Darwin between 2012 and 2016.

The maps below show the changes that have taken place on the outskirts of a town called Darwin between 2012 and 2016. 1bDen
The diagram below reveals how the suburban of Darwin town from 2012 to 2016. The initial impression from this map is the old polluted river was transformed into a new clean river to provide facilities for people. In 2012, they complete obliteration of the old factory to construct a swimming pool and a footpath to connect the swimming pool with the main road in the west of the town. In the southwest of the town, the trees were removed and a new golf course was built in their place.
The diagram below reveals how the suburban of Darwin town from 2012 to 2016. The initial impression from this map is the
Make sure that the adjective 'old' is correct. Possibly, it should be an adverb (typically ~ly) that modifies 'polluted'. Possibly, it should be the first word in a compound adjective (hyphenated adjective). Possibly, it is correct.
old polluted
river
was transformed
into a new clean river to provide facilities for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In 2012, they complete obliteration of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
factory to construct a swimming pool and a footpath to connect the swimming pool with the main road in the west of the town. In the southwest of the town, the trees
were removed
and a new golf course
was built
in their place.
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IELTS academic The maps below show the changes that have taken place on the outskirts of a town called Darwin between 2012 and 2016.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
89 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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