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The graph below show how the old people in European countries spent their free time between 1980 and 2010

The graph below show how the old people in European countries spent their free time between 1980 and 2010 QKdrP
The line graph illustrates five different activities of old European spending in their spare time from 1980 to 2010. In general, reading, hiking, playing a sport, and surfing the Internet were likely to do, except going to the theatre. 60% was the proportion of playing sport accounting for in 1980, which was over than other categories. In next 20-year, a rise to 70% of their free time was spent on it, before a decline to about 64% in 2010. Standing at the second place was the time’s amount of theatre, which occupied a half in 1980. Opposite to the highest categories, theatre’s figure decreased to 30% in 1990; followed by an upward to 47%, which was at the fifth place in 20-year later. In 1980, the two lowest categories were hiking and surfing the Internet experienced a significant increase in time spent throughout the period. The hiking figures rise gradually from a fifth to 4 times as the beginning, at 80% in 2010. And surfing the Internet’s time range also increased from about 7%, however, being rapid since the 2000s from about 15% to half in 10 years. Reading time of the elderly was fluctuating, however, increasing in general from 20% to three times as at 60%, in 2010.
The line graph illustrates five
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
activities of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
European spending in their spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
from 1980 to 2010.
In general
, reading, hiking, playing a sport, and surfing the Internet were likely to do, except going to the
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
.

60% was the proportion of playing sport accounting for in 1980, which was
Use "(over)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
over
than other categories. In
next
20-year, a rise to 70% of their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
was spent
on it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
a decline to about 64% in 2010. Standing at the second place was the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time’s
amount of
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
, which occupied a half in 1980. Opposite to the highest categories,
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
’s figure decreased to 30% in 1990; followed by an upward to 47%, which was at the fifth place in 20-year later.

In 1980, the two lowest categories were hiking and surfing the Internet experienced a significant increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spent throughout the period. The hiking figures rise
gradually
from a fifth to 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
as the beginning, at 80% in 2010. And surfing the Internet’s
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time
range
also
increased from about 7%,
however
, being rapid since the 2000s from about 15% to half in 10 years. Reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of the elderly was fluctuating,
however
, increasing
in general
from 20% to three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
as at 60%, in 2010.
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IELTS academic The graph below show how the old people in European countries spent their free time between 1980 and 2010

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
209 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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