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diagram with production process

diagram with production process kL8YK
The supplied diagram sketches out the production process for making sugar from sugar cane. Overall, it contains seven steps, beginning with the growing the canes and ending with drying and cooling the sugar. Once sugar canes have grown for one year or one year and a half, they had been harvested in two different ways which are mechanically by machines or manually by farmers. After that, the collected sugar canes have transferred to the crushing step, that is the third step in the whole process, and their juice has come out in this stage. Following this step, juice had undergone to the limestone filter, where it had been purifying. In the fifth step of the process, the purified juice has gone to evaporator, where it has been transformed into syrup with heat. Once this step has been fulfilled, syrup has passed thorough centrifuge to separating sugar crystals in it. In the final step, sugar has been stored in a container to drying and cooling.
The supplied diagram sketches out the production process for making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
cane.

Overall
, it contains seven
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steps
, beginning with the growing the canes and ending with drying

and cooling the sugar.

Once
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
canes have grown for one year or one year and a half, they had
been harvested


in two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways which are
mechanically
by machines or
manually
by farmers. After that,

the collected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
canes have transferred to the crushing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
,
that is
the third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
in the

whole process, and their juice has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out in this stage. Following this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
, juice had

undergone to the limestone filter, where it had been purifying.

In the fifth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
of the process, the purified juice has gone to evaporator, where it has
been transformed
into syrup with heat. Once this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
has
been fulfilled
, syrup has passed thorough

centrifuge to separating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
crystals in it. In the final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
has
been stored
in a

container to drying and cooling.
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IELTS academic diagram with production process

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
164 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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