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The maps below show the centre of a small town called Islip as it is now, and plans for its development.

The maps below show the centre of a small town called Islip as it is now, and plans for its development. geLL
The displayed diagrams are given information about some proposed changes to the central area of the town of Islip. As an overall area, a broad assessment of data reveals that the principal change to the town will be the construction of a ring road around the center. Hence, various other developments with regard to shops and housing will accompany the building road. Looking at the map of Islip as it is now, we can see that the main road runs through its center from east to west. all the establishments are opposite to the countryside, which is in the north. In addition, the residential area in the town is at the south, between a school which is located towards the west and a park at the east. Hence, both have access to the main road. On the other hand, the plan is an enclosed town inside a dual carriageway, which has access points (entry and exit) at both east and west. The new establishments anticipated are a bus station, a shipping centre and a car park, which would replace the existing shops at the north of the main road. Furthermore, the main road. Which is the present landmark, is set to be transformed to a pedestrian's way. Finally, two new accommodation facilities are expected to exist.
The displayed diagrams are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
information about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
proposed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to the central area of the
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town
of
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Islip
.

As an
overall
area, a broad assessment of data reveals that the principal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
will be the construction of a ring
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road
around the center.
Hence
, various other developments with regard to shops and housing will accompany the building road.

Looking at the map of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Islip
as it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the
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main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
runs through its center from east to west.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
all
the establishments are opposite to the countryside, which is in the north.
In addition
, the residential area in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
is at the south, between a school which
is located
towards the west and a park at the east.
Hence
, both have access to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
road.

On the other hand
, the plan is an enclosed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
inside a dual carriageway, which has access points (entry and exit) at both east and west. The new establishments anticipated are a bus station, a shipping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
and a car park, which would replace the existing shops at the north of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
. Which is the present landmark,
is set
to
be transformed
to a pedestrian's way.
Finally
, two new accommodation facilities are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to exist.
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IELTS academic The maps below show the centre of a small town called Islip as it is now, and plans for its development.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
216 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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