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the map show changes in a location

the map show changes in a location 9wN5p
The development which occurred in the village of Stamdorf is illustrated in these maps below over 30 years. It is clear from the graph that the Village had became more modernized and the village’s appearance had changed completely during the period. According to what shown, the eastern part of the Arlington road had developed entirely. The old wooden bridge was redeveloped into a modern Steel one. Near the bridge, the factory was flattened and new trees were planted instead. Moving to the north of the river, small roadside inns were relocated to the south of the Thames river, while a new extension of the main road was built leading to a new large industrial area. Just over the extension, an industrial staff quarter was erected. On the other hand, the western district of the main road witnessed big changes. Starting from newly constructed housing estates, which situated on the northern and southern part of the Thames river. The Field opposing the Arlington road in 1985 was relocated southerly adjacent to the river. To sum up, we could say that although many changes took place in the village, the village’s planning remained almost the same during the two years.
The development which occurred in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Stamdorf
is illustrated
in these maps below over 30 years. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the graph that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Village
had
Use past participle here: "become".
became
more modernized and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village’s
appearance had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
completely during the period.

According to what shown, the eastern part of the Arlington
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
had developed
entirely
. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
wooden bridge
was redeveloped
into a modern Steel one. Near the bridge, the factory
was flattened
and new trees
were planted
instead
. Moving to the north of the river,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
roadside inns
were relocated
to the south of the Thames river, while a new extension of the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
was built
leading to a new large industrial area.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
over the extension, an industrial staff quarter
was erected
.

On the other hand
, the western district of the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
witnessed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
. Starting from
newly
constructed housing estates, which situated on the northern and southern part of the Thames river. The Field opposing the Arlington
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
in 1985
was relocated
southerly
adjacent to the river.

To sum up, we could say that although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
took place in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village’s
planning remained almost the same during the two years.

IELTS academic the map show changes in a location

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
198 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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