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amount of spreads consumed from 1981 to 2007, in gms.

amount of spreads consumed from 1981 to 2007, in gms. gWLqO
The provided line graph demonstrates the consumption of three types of spreads (Margarine, Butter, Low fat and reduced spreads) between the year 1981 and 2007. At the first glance, it is observable that margarine and butter had conflicting trends over the period of 26 years. Whereas, low fat and reduced spreads' consumption initiated in the mid 90's and reached the topmost position in the year 2007. At the onset of 80's, margarine consumption was 90 grams. While, butter began with 140 grams. In the next five years, butter went up to 160 grams. On the contrary, margarine gradually fell to half the value of butter. Afterwards, in 90's, butter and margarine had same demand as 100 grams. At the mid of the last decade of twentieth century, low fat and reduced spreads were introduced with merely 10 grams. After couple of yours it intersected with butter and at the opening of twenty first century matched with margarine as 60 grams and 80 grams respectively. At the end, low fat and reduced spreads, butter and margarine stood at 70, 40 and 50 grams respectively.
The provided line graph demonstrates the consumption of three types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spreads
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(Margarine
,
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Butter
,
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Low
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fat
and
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reduced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spreads)
between the
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year
1981 and 2007.

At the
first
glance, it is observable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
margarine
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
butter
had conflicting trends over the period of 26 years. Whereas,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduced
spreads' consumption initiated in the mid
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "90s".
90's
and reached the topmost position in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2007.

At the onset of
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "80s".
80's
,
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margarine
consumption was 90
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
,
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butter
began with 140
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
. In the
next
five years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
butter
went up to 160
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grams
.
On the contrary
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
margarine
gradually
fell to half the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
butter
. Afterwards, in
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "90s".
90's
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
butter
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
margarine
had same demand as 100 grams.

At the mid of the last decade of twentieth century,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spreads
were introduced
with
merely
10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
. After
It seems that an article is missing.
couple of
yours it intersected with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
butter
and at the opening of twenty
first
century matched with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
margarine
as 60
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grams
and 80
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
respectively
. At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spreads
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
butter
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
margarine
stood at 70, 40 and 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
respectively
.
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IELTS academic amount of spreads consumed from 1981 to 2007, in gms.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
183 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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