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decribe the differnce between 2 island

decribe the differnce between 2 island KlQVM
The map depicts the differences between before and after people carrie out tourism development. The orginal island is a wasteland, there is nothing except for a few trees. However, the island after the renovation has a lot of amenities facilities. The pier was constructed to allow people can move back and forth between the island and the mainland. It is also has a variety of accommodations separated into two areas are suitated on both sides of the reception. And then, the footpath was built that leads tourists to the accommodations and then to the beach and the swimming. The reception located in the center of the island is surrounded by vehicle track leading to the restaurant in the north and to the pier in the south. Overall, the map indicates that from the deserted island now become a tousristic island with convenient amenities facilites.
The map depicts the differences between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
and after
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
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carrie
out tourism development.

The
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orginal
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island
is a wasteland, there is nothing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
a few trees.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
after the renovation has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
amenities facilities. The pier
was constructed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
back and forth between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
and the mainland. It is
also
has a variety of accommodations separated into two areas are
Possible spelling mistake found.
suitated
on both sides of the reception. And then, the footpath
was built
that leads tourists to the accommodations and then to the beach and the swimming. The reception located in the center of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
is surrounded
by vehicle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
leading to the restaurant in the north and to the pier in the south.

Overall
, the map indicates that from the deserted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
become a
Possible spelling mistake found.
tousristic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
with convenient amenities
Possible spelling mistake found.
facilites
.
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IELTS academic decribe the differnce between 2 island

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
144 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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