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The graphs below show the number of hours people spent on social media per day from 2010 to 2016 as well as the reasons why they used them.

The graphs below show the number of hours people spent on social media per day from 2010 to 2016 as well as the reasons why they used them. Vw2Q7
The picture provides us two charts, the right one reveals the breakdown of reasons why people use social media, the left chart shows how many hours users have spent over 6 years. Firstly, the amount of time that users spent has fluctuated over time for all social media platforms. However all websites except of Instagram have experienced insignificant changes. It is clear from the pie chart that predominant reason of browsing social media is communication, other reasons are far behind of the leading one. According to the first graph, instagram and spanchat had two spikes over the entire period. However instagram had sharp uprises, where in 2012 it had 4 hours and almost the same number in 2016. In turn, snapchat users spent 6 hours a day only in 2012 and 2016. Facebook and Linked behaved in a completely different way, they underwent steady rise over 4 years and reached their peak in 2014 gaining 5 hours for Facebook and 2 hours for Linkedin. The reason for use graph describes that 58% of users visit social media platforms for chatting to each other. At the same time, almost 1/4 people chose shopping as the main justification of browsing social media. Obviously, there are two outsiders on the graph, they are "watch video" and "play games", each of them took 9% and 10% respectively.
The picture provides us two charts, the right one reveals the breakdown of
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reasons
why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
have spent
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over
6 years.

Firstly
, the amount of time that
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users
spent has fluctuated
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over
time for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
platforms.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
all websites except of Instagram have experienced insignificant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the pie chart that predominant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
of browsing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is communication, other
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reasons
are far behind of the leading one.

According to the
first
graph,
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instagram
and
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spanchat
had two spikes
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over
the entire period.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
Possible spelling mistake found.
instagram
had sharp uprises, where in 2012 it had 4
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hours
and almost the same number in 2016. In turn,
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snapchat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
spent 6
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
a day
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in 2012 and 2016. Facebook and Linked behaved in a completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
way, they underwent steady rise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
4 years and reached their peak in 2014 gaining 5
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hours
for Facebook and 2
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hours
for
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Linkedin
.

The
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reason
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
that 58% of
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users
visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
platforms for chatting to each other. At the same time, almost 1/4
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
chose
If 'chose' is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: "to shop".
shopping
as the main justification of browsing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.
Obviously
, there are two outsiders on the graph, they are
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
video
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
and
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
play games
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
, each of them took 9% and 10%
respectively
.

IELTS academic The graphs below show the number of hours people spent on social media per day from 2010 to 2016 as well as the reasons why they used them.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
223 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The graphs below show the number of hours people spent on social media per day from 2010 to 2016 as well as the reasons why they used them.